Modern Family
Season 4: Episode 12: ?Party Crasher?
This week, we watched our favorite family struggle with growing up and staying young. Luke and Lily bonded over losing their spot as the baby, Manny, experienced a milestone on the road to manhood, and a ponytailed divorc? chased his youth right into Haley?s jeans. No, sir, that is not a mirror in her pocket.
Oh, and Jay and Gloria welcomed a baby boy!
Cameron & Lily
?Don?t turn my marrying my daughter into something ugly.?
Cam struggled with some jealousy this week after he discovered that Lily asked Mitch to marry her, which is totally not creepy? it?s a phase girls go through, like wanting a horse or getting bangs. Cam stood too close during the mock ceremony, and Lily pushed him out of the way, like she shoved him out of her heart. Cam threw some rice to celebrate the union and pegged Lily in the eye.? She kind of deserved it. I miss toddler Lily.
After seeing one pest knocked out by rice, I think I?ve figured out how to solve New York?s pigeon problem. We?ll just convince the Styles Section brides that rice is back in fashion, and boom: no more getting dive bombed by rats with wings. (Calm down, PETA. It?s only a dream?)
Mitch later returns home from work to discover that Cam has bribed Lily into a second, elaborate wedding by buying her a miniature car. I experienced some raging jealousy on behalf of five-year-old me, since I spent years watching my neighbor tool around in her Power Wheels Jeep, which my parents insisted was unsafe. Damn that Carolynn and her overly-permissive grandma.
Proving my parents right, Lily, who they always suspected might be a terrible driver, wrecks the car and ends up in a neck brace and an eye patch. These do not serve as flotation devices when Cam later accidentally dumps her into the pool at Manny?s birthday party. Her panicked cry for ?Daddy,? her name for Cam, restores his confidence in his daughter?s love, just like the a capella glee club performance proved his worth as a teacher. I?d pick Cam over Mr. Schue any day.
Cam ??A-
Lily ??B
Gloria & Manny
?And the birthday video becomes a nature film.?
Gloria turned to petty crime to give her son a great 14th birthday: after stealing a cake out of a stroller, she busted out of the parking garage when her ?let me check my cleavage for change? trick didn?t work, all to make it home in time for the surprise.
In preparation for Manny?s party, the lights were dimmed, the guests were hidden, and the camera was on. Manny opened the front door, but it was the party guests who were surprised when he was followed by a cute girl who gave him his ?birthday present? in front of his friends and family. She turned on the light, saw the crowd, and ran away screaming?leaving Manny alone in his mortification.
While Gloria sweet-talked Manny out of his room, she tried to convince the baby to stay inside its womb room, but while Manny?s guests were singing ?Happy Birthday,? his mom?s water broke. At the hospital, Manny eased Gloria?s fears about him feeling pushed aside with a line as charming as it was direct: ?you?re trying to hold another person inside of you to spare my feelings. Message received.?
Manny got his first kiss and a baby brother for his birthday. Gloria tried to keep a person inside her for the sake of her first child and then delivered a second one in 20 minutes. Badass-ery seems to be another Colombian tradition.
Gloria ??A
Manny ? A-
Haley
Early in the episode, I feared Haley had returned to her thoughtless ways when she brought home Kenny, a middle-aged designer trying to get into girls? jeans. Designing them, that is.? I agree with Alex this week ? upon meeting Kenny, with his gross ponytail and tight vest, I was disgusted.
Haley paraded this ?jeanius? around, bringing him to the house, to Manny?s party, and then to the hospital, where he did the grossest thing I?ve seen on TV since the Buckwild premiere. From the waiting room, they think Jay?s high-pitched screams belong to Gloria, and Kenny announces that she must be ?a beautiful eight centimeters,? while tapping his fingers up Haley?s leg. Phil and I were both struggling.
I was relieved to see that Haley was just testing her parents, since she thought she?d lost her dad?s respect by getting kicked out of college. It was a nice moment of honest reflection and gratitude. B+
Phil & Claire
?What you?re saying makes sense up here, but it?s not what I wanna do here, and I just feel so damn comfy down here.?
Phil barely holds in his aggression, almost solving Kenny?s ponytail problem with a hedge clipper, until Haley takes off with her aging beau, credit card in hand for dinner and a hotel. As the elevator door closes, Phil turns on Claire for her wrong advice on everything from the certain failure of the iPod to her love of her favorite planet, Pluto, and goes after Haley.
In a Shakespearean turn, as his elevator doors close, the others open, revealing Haley as she demands to know why her parents were about to allow an adult sleepover with that guy from Perfect Strangers.? She admits her fear that she?s a constant disappointment to Phil seconds before he leaps out of the elevator, unaware of his daughter?s presence, and shouts that he wants to tell his little girl that no one?s good enough for her, especially not that middle-aged sleazeball salesman.
For being the parental champions every daughter dreams of, Phil and Claire are at the top of their class this week.
Phil ? A
Claire ? A
?Party Crasher? ??B+
I found a few things hard to believe this week: Haley could have found a much hotter bad decision, Gloria?s cleavage trick would never fail with pregnancy boobs, and the writers were pushing it with ?Stacy?s mom, Mrs. Robinson.? Overall, I was just happy that Manny got some action and we got to see Jay hold his new son. Any guesses on his name? I just hope he turns out cooler than Lily.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ??
Extra Credit
- The revelation that Phil loves Hermione Granger (and will never confide in Luke again)
- Luke should narrate all documentaries
- Seeing Jay hold his baby at the end of the episode melted my ice heart
Demerits
- ?Comfy, right?? ?Like a diaper.?
- People who say ?supposably?
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Source: http://charactergrades.com/modern-family-party-crasher/
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